Um...Ok I need to have this!

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups finely chopped pecans
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 2 tablespoons butter, melted
• CREAM CHEESE FILLING:
• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• PUMPKIN FILLING:
• 2 eggs
• 1 1/4 cups canned pumpkin
• 1 cup evaporated milk
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• Dash salt
• 1/2 cup chopped pecans

Directions

1. In a small bowl, combine the pecans, sugar and butter. Press onto the bottom and 3/4 in. up the sides of a greased 9-in. springform pan. Place pan on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 degrees F for 10 minutes.
2. In a small mixing bowl, beat the cream cheese, sugar and vanilla until smooth. Add egg; beat on low speed just until combined. Spread over crust. In another mixing bowl, combine the eggs, pumpkin, milk, sugar, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and salt; pour over the cream cheese layer.
3. Reduce heat to 350 degrees F. Bake for 55-60 minutes or until a knife inserted into pumpkin layer comes out clean. Cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Carefully run a knife around the edge of pan to loosen; cool 1 hour longer. Sprinkle with pecans. Chill overnight. Remove sides of pan before cutting. Refrigerate leftovers.

 So, once I have them time I am going to make the shit out of this and I'll let you all know how it goes!

Living in La La Love Land

I realized recently that the version of myself that I am now is my favorite version thus far.  I have made some drastic changes in my life in the last year and a half-ish that have altered who I am, for the better.  It is so hard for me to turn my back on people and let them go but I have done some incredible work in that department. I've also left my husband, drank heavily for a summer, fell in love, found my happy place, cried myself into a deep sleep more than once, made a very difficult decision, started school again, lost several "friends", changed my attitude and reconnected with who I am...to name just a few life altering experiences I have had in the last 465 days, the last 58 of which I've been sober for.  

Now sobriety, that is something I haven't been SO familiar with. I don't know that I have been sober for more than a week in years.  The clarity that I have these days is beautiful.  I am so in love and in such a fulfilling, nurturing relationship with a man that makes me feel everything I have ever wanted to feel but didn't know I could.  I've never been so healthy with someone, so open, so raw and honest all of the time. I trust him, I really truly trust him, I don't know who else I can really say that about.  I believe him, and I believe in him.  He makes me believe in me. I have never felt so capable of anything in all of my life.  This is it, what I've been waiting for.  

I've been given the opportunity to start again and I am so much more than willing to take it.  How often in life do you get a do-over?