It'll never be right, but it will be ok

Today is her 50th Birthday. She's out there, celebrating with people she calls friends...for today. Someone will refuse a favor or tell her some kind of truth that she doesn't want to hear. Next year, she'll celebrate with someone else.  I thought I would feel more. I turned 30, she turned 50 and I just don't feel like I think I should. I don't feel sad, I don't feel left out, hurt, offended, angry, betrayed or any of the other things she's made me feel in the past. Is this good? Is it bad? I just don't know. I stopped missing her a long time ago, but I used to be plagued with guilt over not wanting her in my life. I've done a lot of growing up I guess, and I realize I didn't need her before, so why would I need her now? The truth is I don't. So, without want or need I guess I am finally and truly free.