So, I'm back. It's been a little while, it isn't that I have a shortage of things to say, I just haven't been inspired to say things. So now I'm sure I'll just ramble on about nonsense and what not for a cool minute.
I'm really excited about my life right now. John and I were in bed last night talking about how we want our dream home to be designed. Of course my main focus was on the kitchen. It is an amazing feeling to know that someone wants to design their life with you, and around you. Like, do I deserve this? What did I did to have the good fortune of finding my perfect match? I wonder if he knows what he's signing up for hmmm...
In June we are taking a trip to Alabama to spend some time with John's Dad and step Mom. I could not be more excited, I can't wait to meet the man who created the love of my life so I can properly thank him. I am thrilled to spend some time out of the valley or as I like to call it "the sucking pit of death". I need some fresh air, green grass, and good food. I think this trip is going to be amazing. Who knows, maybe we'll fall in love with Alabama and never come back.
I can't let go of this feeling that I need to flee this place. I feel like as soon as we can settle down in a place where we can be ourselves and live the life we dream about, my real life will begin. It's unnerving to sit around and realize that you aren't living the life you're meant to. Don't get me wrong, I'm a happy girl, I just think my happiness is in limbo and will really come to life once we've carved our own path. I want babies, and I don't want to raise them here, it terrifies me.
I never thought I would want to leave socal but here it is. People keep saying things to me like "why would you want to move, the weather here is so beautiful"? Well, if that is the only thing this place has going for it, count me out. Yes, the weather is beautiful and you have to give the state your first born child and a kidney to live here. My first apartment at 19 was a two bedroom in Sherman Oaks in a four unit building built in the 50s. We paid 1350 to live there. It wasn't even that nice, and the bedrooms were small. To me, that is madness. I have been looking in New Orleans and Kentucky just to compare cost of living. In New Orleans I found several beautiful apartments in great locations that allow all size dogs for amazing prices. One in particular was a two bedroom, pet friendly, hard wood floors, washer/dryer in unit, patio, pool, gym, walk in closets, big kitchen, parking (wow), for 795. What???? You can't hardly find a studio in the shittiest part of the valley for that! Minimum wage is 7.25 but unlike LA most jobs that aren't fast food or grocery bagger pay more than that. I was checking craigslist in LA for reception jobs and they pay the same as in New Orleans.
The ultimate goal is to buy property and have a house built. I can afford that in states like Kentucky, Alabama and Louisiana. I've finally come to realize that I deserve "the American dream" just as much as the next schmuck. I also know that you have to go out and get it and that is what I plan to do. I'm ready to find my little cubbyhole in the world and set up shop. I want to know and love my neighbors, I want to attend neighborhood picnics and block parties and be part of some social group that plans great events for the community. I want my kids to be safe at school and at home and I want to know that I am providing the very best life I can for them. I'm ready and willing to do everything I must to attain this life.
